The sense of guilt
by bloodylucy
Summary: Akihito feels truly guilty about hurting Hiroomi in his youmu form. He'd do anything to make up for it. Coincidentally, Hiroomi is really frustrated after a fight with his beloved little sister. Therefore, he knows very well how to make use of Akihito's willingness and gets himself in some morally objectionable situations.
1. Anything you want, Onii-sama!

_Welcome to my new story!_

_I don't know what KyoAni is doing to me, but even though I really am busy I can't restrain myself from writing another fanfic.._

_This time it's kyoukai no kanata! I just fell in love with Hiroomi and Akihito :3_

_And yes, I wasn't sure whether it's written Hiromi or Hiroomi.. so I just settled for the latter_

_please forgive me if it's wrong! And also forgive me for any mistakes, english is not my mother tongue_

_I hope you enjoy it anyway! Thanks for reading!_

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_Kyoukai no Kanata (or Beyond the Boundary) belongs to Kyouto Animation and I own no rights for it_

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**Anything you want, Onii-sama**

Hiroomi sat sulking in the literature club room and stared at the book in his hands without actually reading a word. From time to time he looked up to his sister, who just responded with derisive glares or punished him with ignoring him totally.

Why was she so cruel to him? All he did was sneaking into her bed at night, planning to wrap his arms around her and sleep next to her. Was that really a reason to beat him half dead, calling him creep and psycho and now treating him like that?

Only a few days ago Kuriyama Mirai had defeated the Hollow Shadow and Akihito had nearly killed him after turning into a youmu. Hiroomi's wounds haven't fully healed yet and all he wanted was some love and devotion from the person he loved. But Mitsuki only overwhelmed him with the opposite.

Therefore, the atmosphere in the literature club was unbearably awkward. Akihito hasn't shown up for days, he was lying in his bed, drowning in depressions allegedly.

He was feeling guilty for almost killing Hiroomi and knowing that, Hiroomi felt not too good as well. After all he had put himself into danger deliberately, risking death to keep Akihito alive.

All just for Mitsuki, of course, because she had asked him to do so. But still something inside him couldn't take the thought of Akihito suffering like that and wanted to comfort him, telling him everything was alright. Yeah, like hell he'd do that.

His own weird thoughts freaked him out himself and he tried everything to get them out of his head. Just as he had almost accomplished it, the door opened and a pale ghost with huge bags beneath the eyes floated into the room.

Hiroomi's hands were already reaching at his scarf, ready to strike once that creature made a funny move, but then he realized that that ghost was actually Akihito, looking like death warmed over.

Akihito flinched a bit at Hiroomi's sudden reaction and his eyes became even darker in sorrow. Oh no. Now he believed that Hiroomi wanted to be prepared to kill him when necessary, and of course that wouldn't cheer that pathetic guy up a bit.

He was only causing him even more pain. Mitsuki realized it as well and tried her best to drag Akihito away from him and distract him a bit. It was rare for her to be so caring, even she must be worried about him.

But he barely talked, he barely reacted. Maybe he also felt guilty towards her. Hiroomi watched them absent-minded. He didn't like the feeling he got when seeing him like that.

Yet still, maybe it was only his imagination, but he thought that the atmosphere in the room had changed with Akihito here. Hiroomi's body started feeling weird. Maybe because his cute, little sister was behaving so adorable and exaggerated nice. At least for her standards.

Not to him, sadly, but he could just imagine that he was in Akihito's place.

He wouldn't act that reluctant as Akihito did. He would enjoy Mitsuki's attention to the fullest. Somehow it annoyed him that that guy was so ungratefully. How could he deny Mitsuki's limitless kindness, which she only seemed to present to him?

Actually he didn't like that at all and he suddenly realized why. All he wanted was Mitsuki to see him the way he saw her. All he wanted was her by his side, that she cared so much about him as she cared about Akihito now. But he could never have that. It would always only remain unreachable for him.

But Akihito could. He could have it all so easily and now was ignorantly letting his chances pass, while Hiroomi could only dream about them.

This was just not fair. He refused to accept this.

"Today, Mitsuki is wearing pink Hello Kitty panties with small black ribbons", he pretended to mumble it, but it was still loud enough for Mitsuki and Akihito to hear.

His little sister turned high red in an instant and her eyes turned to those of a raging dragon.

"YOU FUCKING PERVERT!", she screamed while landing a perfectly aimed hit in the middle of Hiroomi's face.

The next moment she had already slammed the door and Hiroomi wiped the blood away.

Akihito stared at him startled, disbelieving that Hiroomi had just said that. Well, there had surely been some less painful ways to get Mitsuki out of the room, but this was the first one he had come up with.

Without wasting another thought about what just had happened, he stood up and walked over to Akihito.

"A-Are you alright?", Akihito stuttered.

Reading his expression, he was clearly intimidated, maybe even terrified. Well, judging by how furious Hiroomi was, he possibly looked pretty frightening now.

"How can I be alright?", he stopped a few inches before Akihito and glared at him, "You almost killed me. Again. Or don't you remember, Akkey?"

Akihito's eyes became darker and sad. Hiroomi had never planned to say something like that. He had resolved to forget about this, just acting like nothing had happened. So why was he bringing this up now?

"I.. I don't remember.. but I know.. I..", Akihito stared at the desk, trying to find the right words, "I'm sorry..."

"Look me into the eyes!", Hiroomi grabbed Akihito's chin rudely and dragged his face up, forcing him to lock his eyes with his.

Seeing those guilty, desperate eyes, something changed in Hiroomi. Some weird feeling overcame him, but he couldn't identify it.

"Hiroomi.. please..", Akihito could barely talk because Hiroomi held his chin so tightly.

"It's senpai!", he hissed.

In this moment he got an idea. The moment it came to his mind, he didn't think about how weird it was, how despicable. He didn't think at all, he just did what he felt.

"Do you realize how much you owe me?", Hiroomi let go of Akihito's chin and his voice became a bit softer.

"I know..", Akihito was still confused and frightened.  
It was a bit funny. The mighty, immortal half youmu was afraid of him.

"What do you plan to do to make up for it?"

Akihito squinted his eyes, like he was fearing to get hit.

"Anything you want, Hiroomi-_senpai_!", he uttered reluctantly.

Wow, he must truly feel guilty. To think that he was saying exactly what Hiroomi wanted to hear. This was going more smoothly than expected.

"Call me _Onii-sama_!", Hiroomi said, unable to hide the fact that he really enjoyed that situation.

"W-what?!", now Akihito was freaked out. His eyes were huge and his cheeks blushed slightly.

And it only became worse, when he noticed that Hiroomi was actually bowing over the desk and his face was only inches away from his.

"What are you waiting for? 'Anything you want, Onii-sama!'"

Hiroomi smirked in anticipation. Akihito gulped. He realized that he had no choice.

"Anything you want, Onii-sama!", he finally whispered.

Just when he had brought the last letter over his lips, they got sealed by others.

Without any word of warning, Hiroomi put his lips on Akihito's and closed his eyes. When he drew back again, he blew the words "This is what I want" on Akihito's cheeks.

As he opened his eyes again, he was looking in a face, almost shocked to death and glowing in a ridiculous color. It was at the same time high red and snow white.

"Hi-hi-hi-hi..", Akihito was now even unable to speak Hiroomi's name.

Maybe he wasn't that convinced of Hiroomi's perfect plan. But wasn't it just brilliant? There was no denying that he was sexually frustrated and he had someone who owed him something. So all what was left was counting one and one together, right?

Well, yes, that someone was a guy, but Hiroomi knew Akihito's waist inside out and it was still marginal. So what about it? Ok, maybe it wasn't the nicest thing to do, but it had its benefits for Akihito, as well.

Akihito jumped up from his chair with his shaking knees and nearly fell along with the chair. But he still managed to stumble back a few steps before landing on his butt.

Hiroomi simply jumped over the desk and walked towards him. Akihito drew back even further until his way was blocked by the wall. There he cowered like a cornered animal.

"No! No! No! What are you doing?!", his voice was nervous and broken.

"I'm doing what I always do. What I want!", with only few steps Hiroomi had approached him and kneed down before him.

"You can't be serious!", Akihito screamed. "And this.. this was.."

"Your first kiss, huh?", Hiromi grinned mischievously, crawled closer to him so there legs were crossed and their faces as close as before.

"Don't worry about it. It won't be your last."

With those words he kissed him again, more tender, more oppressive. Akihito didn't resist. How far could he go? How far did he even want to go?

Strangely enough this didn't feel disgusting at all. It actually felt really good. There was this urge overcoming Hiroomi's body, making him licking across Akihito's trembling lips, forcing his tongue into his mouth.

Akihito still didn't fight back, no, he even moaned a bit. And those moans fed the lust growing inside Hiroomi to go on.

He even dared to open his eyes again, looking into Akihito's teary eyes. His face was deep red now, no traces of white or green or blue left. Was he enjoying this as well? Were his eyes begging for more? Or did Hiroomi just imagine things in this intoxication?

"No complaints?", he just wanted to make sure.

Akihito had to pant for air before he could answer.

"Well.. I said anything you want, right? If I can make up for putting you through all this trouble, then.. even if you're no bespectacled beauty..", Akihito's words got less and less understandable with every one he said.

Somehow Hiroomi didn't like that. Something was bothering him in the way Akihito reasoned. But after all he just had told him that he could do with him whatever he could think of. And this was no reason to be angry about.

Still, he felt like rage was building up inside him and he felt the urge to painfully devour Akihito completely. Only to make him regret his naïve trust.

And maybe he would have just done it if Kuriyama Mirai hadn't entered the room in this very moment.

"Wh-wh-what are you doing?!", she stuttered at the sight of the two guys sitting oddly close in the edge of the room. Her face was taking the color of her hair.

"Oh Akkey just dropped his pencil and I was trying to help him searching for it."

Hiroomi stood up and acted like he needed to brush of some dust. Akihito was sitting in the edge for another few moments, with a dumbfounded look on his face, until he managed to stand up with his trembling knees.

"I guess you have to go home, right? I'll keep searching and _let you know _when I find it. OK, Akkey?", Hiroomi did his best to weirdly stress his words, to make sure that he'd take the hint.

And judging by his glowing face, he had obviously understood.

"Y-yeah.. thanks, Onii-... Hiroomi-senpai!", Akihito was totally off and just hurried to get out of the room as quickly as possibly.

Hiroomi couldn't deny himself an amused chuckle as he licked across his lips with pleasure. This was going to be a lot of fun.

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_Thanks again for reading! _

_If you want to know more about me and my stories, you can visit me on tumblr_

_my name there is bloodylucy93! I would love to see you there!_

_I'm still a freshman there, though, so there's not a lot to see yet.. but I'll do my best to post regularly and tell you about my writing progress!_


	2. Would you wear these, Onii-chan?

_Hello there! Sorry sorry it took me too long.. I totally got caught in all this christmas mania_

_Buying presents all day and then visiting the kin.. I've actually just returned and now I can finally upload this! Yes!_

_Next chapter won't take so long, I promise!_

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**Would you wear these, Onii-chan?**

Just like every afternoon after classes, the members of the literature club assembled in their room and were devoted to their club activities. Mitsuki stared at some book in her hands and pretended that she was reading it and Mirai looked after her beloved bonsais.

The only one who even tried to do something productive was Akihito, who desperately tried to concentrate even though Hiroomi did his best to distract him.

Since that.. incident.. the other day, Hiroomi enjoyed teasing Akihito even more. Maybe because now, he didn't freak out and turned snow white when he got touched, no, now he simply blushed.

But that only made him so much cuter, Hiroomi really had to restrain himself in the presence of the girls. He kept running around Akihito the whole time, solemnly sliding his fingers across his neck or placing his head on his shoulders, pretending to read the book he held.

Sometimes Akihito tried to hiss or glare at him, but he wasn't really talented in intimidating him. As long as he remained human, at least.

On the contrary, it only encouraged him to tease him even more.

"Akkey..", he summed and put his hands beneath Akihito's arms. "Mmmh so warm."

He didn't even do it on purpose, it just happened that his hands slipped further until they met on Akihito's breast. Beneath his fingers he felt Akihito's heart beat overturning.

Hiroomi's mind suddenly returned to that kiss. That kiss. His heart seemed to adjust to Akihito's.

What was wrong with him? Their eyes met. Akihito stared at him with eyes gaped in shock. But his face was bright red. 'A kiss would be nice', he thought and drew his face closer to Akihito's.

"O-nii-san..?!"

Instantly Hiroomi was ripped back into reality, he flinched and let go of Akihito immediately. Mitsuki stared at him blank. Even Mirai froze in whatever she had been doing and watched the scene with a blushed face and a slightly trembling body.

"Haha! Just kidding! I'm just bored..", Hiroomi somehow managed to say before he turned around, so the others couldn't see his face.

Somehow he really felt hot right now, as if his face was burning. Maybe he was getting sick.

It took Hiroomi some time to calm down again. He managed to blame everything on an upcoming cold and slight fever. What else should have made him do something like this? Still he couldn't help but feeling dissatisfied.

Mirai left all of a sudden, blubbering something about an all-you-can-eat special and Mitsuki left soon afterwards, feeling slightly uncomfortable about being the only girl in this place full of perverts. It hasn't bothered her back then, before Mirai had joined, but maybe Hiroomi was really behaving a bit over the top lately.

Akihito jumped up from his chair as he noticed Mitsuki's depart and wanted to rush out of the room as quickly as possible, but Hiroomi blocked his way.

"Akkey, I need your help with something. Don't you want to stay a bit longer?", he asked him.

Akihito gulped and the misgiving was written all over his face.

"You want to go on with what you did before, right?", he muttered.

What you did before.. a flash struck through his body as the memory brought the feeling he had had back. Lust. There was no denying it was lust.

Determined, he went at Akihito, grabbed his hips and pushed him on the desk.

"May I?", he asked politely, but without failing to show him, that he had no choice anyway.

Their eyes locked and Akihito's face color changed.

"D-Do what you want.."

Hiroomi didn't need to think twice. Their nosetips touched for a moment before Hiroomi finally laid his lips on Akihito's. Why was he feeling so good? Why couldn't he stop? It was Akihito who he kissed here, damn it.

But he licked across those soft lips nonetheless and sucked them and even couldn't restrain himself from biting his underlip. Akihito gasped for air and responded with a mix of a painful scream and a sweet aroused moan.

"What are you doing?", he complained.

"Sorry..", Hiroomi realized that he had gone to far when he had the iron taste in his mouth.

He wiped the red fluid, which was running down Akihito's chin, away and watched the bite healing in remarkable speed. In amazement he stroke with his fingers across the wound.

"Hiroomi..", Akihito tried to get his attention back. His eyes had something hesitant and begging in them, "can you do me a favor?"

Now Hiroomi was interested. What could he want in such a situation?

"What?"

"Would you..", he started reluctantly, obviously avoiding Hiroomi's eyes, "wear these..?"

He drew out a pair of glasses. Hiroomi couldn't hide his surprise. But on the other hand, there was really no reason to be surprised. Knowing Akihito, it was only natural that it would come to this.

Yet, it was really cute that he was so embarrassed when asking this.

"Ask me again, you know how."

There was really no reason for him to object. He was the last one to have something against weird fetishes.

"Uhm..", Akihito's face was high red as he tried hard to bring himself to say it. "Would you wear these, Onii-chan?"

So cute. So unbelievably cute. Even if he wanted, there was no way he could object now. He took the glasses and put them on, then looked over the frame up to Akihito.

"Like this?", he asked.

Akihito was obviously thrilled. His mouth was wide open and his body trembled. He just nodded excessively.

They kissed again, but Akihito was like a different person. Finally, he too, was a lot more into it. Their tongues touched and the distance between their bodies got smaller.

Akihito pressed his legs against Hiroomi's waist and wrapped his arms around him, while Hiroomi carefully touched his face and stroke with his fingers through his hair.

All he had wanted was to tease him a little bit, but weren't they enjoying this a little too much? Well, the point where he could think about it was long past. He let go of Akihito's face and put his hands back on Akihito's waist.

No, he was definitely enjoying this too much. He needed to be teased a little more. Therefor, Hiroomi let his fingers slip beneath Akihito's vest, touching the warm, naked skin.

Akihito flinched and interrupted the kiss. Maybe Hiroomi's cold hands startled him. Or maybe he was going too far now.

But suddenly there was something weird in his eyes. Something saying 'I won't loose'.

Warm, warm fingers beneath his clothes. Akihito copied him, his hands gliding across the back. Did this really happen? If this kept going on like this.. if this look in his eyes remained, who knew where this evening was leading to?

But it didn't go on like this and the look in Akihito's eyes changed rapidly. It happened the moment Akihito's fingers had reached a certain spot on Hiroomi's back. His face fell apart, he drew his hands back and suddenly there was an emotion written in his face, that emotion Hiroomi just knew too well.

"That scar..", he muttered.

He felt guilty. Hiroomi remembered how this whole thing had started. Why Akihito was doing this. He was repenting and Hiroomi was making use of it.

"I was the one who caused it, right?"

Hiroomi gulped. Akihito was close to tears.

"Akkey..", he whispered. 'No, you're wrong. It wasn't you.' He just needed to tell him. The words were already on the tip of his tongue, but he just couldn't bring himself to say it.

One last time he panted for air, deeply resolving to just tell him the truth, but Akihito was faster than him.

"You can do with me whatever you want, Onii-sama."

The words got stuck in Hiroomi's throat. Why did these words, coming from these lips, arouse him so much? Why did his body move by itself?

He gave him a quick kiss on the lips, a quick kiss on his cheeks, a quick kiss on his neck. Whatever he wanted. For a little untruth.

He loosened Akihito's belt and opened his pants without taking his eyes from Akihito's eyes. The look in his eyes was so painful, it broke Hiroomi's heart.

There was no way he could take it any longer. He avoided his gaze and turned his attention to the rest of his body. With his fingers, which were freezing cold in comparison to Hiroomi's body, he slipped beneath Akihito's vest once again.

Akihito moaned, maybe the cold was really turning him on. Pulling his vest up, he licked across his belly, working himself up towards his nipples. Akihito's whole body reacted when he reached them. Hiroomi licked them tenderly and then sucked them strongly. Akihito moaned even more, it was almost screaming.

'More', Hiroomi thought. He couldn't get enough of these moans. He wanted to make him feel even better, to make him moan even more.

Hiroomi went down on his knees and opened Akihito's pants completely. So the nipples hadn't been the only thing reacting when he had played with them.

Akihito gasped and grabbed Hiroomi's hair.

"Wh-What are you doing?"

But it was already too late to hold him back. Hiroomi put his tongue on the tip of Akihito's hard on, licked it and took it in his mouth.

Akihito moaned and panted like he couldn't take the pleasure anymore, it was like music in Hiroomi's ears. It made him suck him even more and Akihito's body trembled, his legs tightened around Hiroomi's neck.

"Why..? Why are you doing this?!", Akihito could barely talk in between his moans and screams. "You gain nothing from that, do you?"

If he knew just how much he gained from that.. and if he knew how little he deserved to gain anything.

It was weird, though, why wasn't he feeling strange, when he had Akihito's dick in his mouth? And why was his sweet voice arousing him so much?

"Hi-hi-hiroomi.. stop it! Stop it!", Akihito yelled.

He seemed to be at his limit. 'Cum. Just cum already!', Hiroomi didn't intend in the slightest to stop. No, he planned to finish this now. 'Let me hear your screams of pleasure!'

And Akihito fulfilled that wish.

"AAH!"

A flash struck through Akihito's body as he came and filled Hiroomi's mouth with the white fluid.

"Mmh..", Hiroomi had to admit that he hadn't really been prepared for that, but he didn't waste it a second thought and just swallowed it.

Akihito panted for air. He was totally exhausted. Hiroomi stood up and looked into his red, glowing face, but Akihito tried to hide it beneath his hands.

"What.. the hell..?", he was confused and embarrassed. Poor little Akihito.

Hiroomi pushed his hands away, to see his cute face. His body was yearning for him. He wanted to kiss him, to hold him, to go a lot further, but his head was telling him to stop.

His conscience scolded him for going that far, the guilt he felt moved his lips.

"I'm sorry", he said, "It wasn't you who caused that scar... I used your guilt to play around with you."

What happened next rushed through Hiroomi's mind like a dream he could take no hold of. He just felt the twitch in his heart when Akihito's eyes gaped in shock and tears ran down his face. There was a dull pain in his chest when Akihito punched against it and threw him to the ground. The words he shouted at him sounded like they where far away.

"You bastard!", "I hate you!", "I'll never let you touch me again!" something like that was coming from his lips. In the voice that had moaned so sweetly before.

Long after it was already over he realized that the door had been shut loudly and Akihito was gone.

Even at night when he was lying in his bed, the sounds in his head didn't stop. The moans, the voice, the screams. It resounded in his mind, steadily growing louder. When he closed his eyes he saw Akihito's red face in front of him. His teary eyes melting in pleasure.

As long as he remembered it so strongly, his body wouldn't stop feeling like that. He touched himself and buried his face in the pillow.

"Akkey..", he whispered to himself as he repeated the same movements he had pleasured Akihito with earlier with his hands.

When he just concentrated enough, he could imagine his smell and his taste on his tongue.

This was the first time he did something like that in thought of Akihito and it was the first time it felt that good. But it was also the first time he felt so ashamed of himself.

"I'm sorry..", he mumbled in the pillow, "forgive me.. and let me touch you again.."

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_Thank you for reading! _

_Also visit me on tumblr (bloodylucy93) :D /selfadvertisment_


	3. I want to sleep with you!

_I might be wrong, but this is the longest chapter I've ever written :O  
_

_Well, there is a reason for it.. this chapter will already be the last :'( I'm sorry, but exams are coming up and I barely have time to write even now.._

_So here the final chapter, rating upped as requested, and as you will realize I would have needed to up the rating this chapter anyways :P _

_And you will also remember some scenes from the Anime and learn what really has happened!_

_Enjoy!_

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**I want to sleep with you!  
**

'Ding Dong', made the doorbell in a pretty unsuitable situation.

"Senpai? It's me, Mirai!", a quiet voice came from outside.

Akihito flinched and stared shocked at the door. This was really bad timing. His body froze for a moment until Mirai's voice made him flinch once again.

"Senpai?"

Why was she here?

"Uhm.. I'm sorry, I was in the bath right now! I'm coming!", he screamed at the door, but ran in a circle slightly panicking before he walked to it.

Mirai called him a third time. He had to hurry before she considered breaking in.

"Sorry, sorry..", he smiled at her when he opened the door slightly and looked outside. "Is there a problem?"

Mirai stood in front of his door with a pretty suspicious expression and reached a cell towards Akihito.

"You forgot this at school", she told him.

Yeah, his cellphone... actually he had forgotten it on purpose. He couldn't stand the thought that it could ring any moment with a certain somebody calling him.

"Ah, thank you! I didn't notice", but of course he couldn't tell her that so he just took it gratefully. Now he had to focus on getting rid of her somehow.

"Do you have a guest? Is somebody visiting?", she asked and tried to get a look inside of Akihito's apartment.

Shit.

"No- no one..", but it was too late. Mirai's eyes were already glued to the unfamiliar shoes standing next to Akihito's right behind the door.

They both froze and Akihito's body started trembling in fear of what was about to come.

"Ahh.. this is not what it looks like..", Akihito stuttered.

"Senpai is an only child, right?", Mirai's voice almost overturned in her excitement as she glared at Akihito. "You neither have a little sister nor a little brother nor cousins nor anything!"

"Uuuhhmm..", Akihito really started feeling sick.

"Judging by their size this shoes belong to a young lady, don't they?", her tone was obviously pejorative.

"You are jumping to conclusions!", Akihito tried to stop her, but once she's started there was no way to stop her. If she only knew..

"For a high school boy this is only natural to happen..", she turned away and seemed to type something into her mobile phone. She didn't write this whole thing in her blog, right?

"..but I'm still not sure whether I think that this is appropriate!", she mumbled while frantically typing on.

"You'll get flamed for posting the first thing that pops into your head!"

Just let it be and go home, he actually wanted to say.

"Who is it?", in the blink of an eye her face was right before Akihito's again and her determined eyes pierced through his hopes that she would actually leave any time soon.  
"It's Mitsuki-senpai, isn't it! Yes, I'm sure it has to be her", there she went again, "you two are talking bad behind my back, right?" She stepped to the wall and whined to it.

"You're wrong! There's no way it'd be Mitsuki!", Akihito insisted.

"Then.. then who? Ai-chan? Ayaka-san?! You mustn't! They're youmu!", she squealed.

"You're imagination is-", at this rate, this could become awkward.

"Ni-niyoma-sensei?!", she already got to the point where she was stuttering.  
"No way!"

Now it really was far-fetched. It became weirder with every name she said. What would come next? Something totally non-credible?

"Then could it be..", she flinched as the thought came to her mind. "Hi-hi-hi-hiroomi-senpai?!"

"Akkey, was your waist more than just 'hot'?", she blushed when fantasized about it, "How obscene! How unpleasant! How unpleasantly obscene!"

She shook herself, trying to get the thoughts and pictures out of her head. Akihito barely noticed her anymore, he was somewhere far off.

"Give me a break..", he heard himself saying calmly, but he wasn't really sure whether it really was him talking.

"Then who is it?", Mirai had calmed down as well. She had obviously just thought of the worst thing she could imagine and couldn't top it any more.

Akihito said nothing for a while and just looked at her. His emotions were diffused, his mind hazy. He didn't know what to say, didn't know how to react. He just wanted to disappear right now, and never return again.

"It's Sakura..", his lips told her.

His eyes noticed her shocked face and he observed that he calmed her down again with something like 'She collapsed when I saw her, so I brought her here to take care of her injuries' and 'She's still sleeping, but you shouldn't go in. Maybe she'll wake up and attack you.'

It wasn't easy to convince her to leave without coming into his apartment, but he somehow managed it. Well, it didn't feel like he was the one who did it. It felt like someone else talked to her, while he was somewhere else, in a dark, cold place, where all confused feeling were piling up over him.

He closed the door again, turned around and reluctantly walked back to his room.

* * *

"You're an awful liar", Hiroomi grinned at him when he returned. He was sitting on his bed.

"I.. I just panicked when she guessed right!"

Panicking wasn't the right word for what has happened to him. It had been closer to drowning. Drowning in the pain and the sorrow he was overcome with when he thought of that beautiful boy there.

"Why are you here?", he clenched his fist and stared at the ground.

He had thought that his heart had stopped the moment Hiroomi was standing in front of his door. Akihito had been so shorttaken, that he couldn't even stop him from walking into his apartment and now even sitting on his bed.

Hiroomi's grin faded as he let himself fall to the side, now lying in Akihito's bed.

"Your bed is so warm..", he mumbled and started to nestle down in it.

"It smells like you..", he buried his face in the sheets.

"Your pillow is wet.. did you cry?", he let his fingers slide across Akihito's pillow and the expression in his eyes changed.

"Why..", Akihito repeated himself with a trembling voice, "..are you here?!"

He couldn't believe what he saw, after all that has happened that bastard still dared to lie in his bed like this, as if he was trying to mock him even more.

"I'm sorry..", but Hiroomi didn't sound like he was trying to mock him. He sounded pained and troubled.

"I'm sorry for lying to you.. and doing such things to you..", he didn't dare to look at him while saying this.

Hiroomi paused for another moment, then he stood up and finally looked into Akihito's eyes. Suddenly he was determined. He grabbed his scarf and took it off and before Akihito could do anything to stop him, he had already undressed his shirt as well.

"What the..?!", Akihito stared at him dumbfounded as his face slowly blushed. Why couldn't he stop staring at Hiroomi's naked chest?

"Here..", he pointed at a tiny bruise right beneath his collarbone. "I got this when I got hit by your shock wave when you transformed."

Akihito snapped for air. He wasn't prepared for what was to come now.

"Here..", now he pointed at an almost healed up, yet really big scrape above his hip, "this is what I got when I was jerked to the ground after that."

He went on like this, showing Akihito all kinds of bruises, scars and scratches he had got in the fights with his Youmu self. It all were only minor things, small wounds you barely saw when you didn't know of there existence. Some things would soon heal up and disappear. But still every single one of them hit Akihito like a knife in his heart.

"I know it isn't much and it isn't even close to that scar on my back, but..."

"Why are you showing me this?", Akihito interrupted him, his voice trembling as the tears were running down his face, "Why are you showing me this?!", he screamed.

Hiroomi flinched and looked at him worried, opened his mouth to say something yet closed it again. He took a deep breath once again and finally answered.

"Because I want to sleep with you", he said.

Akihito lost his words. He just stared at his senpai with huge eyes. "What..?"

"I know it's despicable, I know it's selfish and cruel and I am the worst, but..", Hiroomi hesitated, looked at the ground and made a step towards Akihito.

"I can't take it anymore. I want to feel your hot body, I want to smell you, I want you close to me, I want all of you. I want to sleep with you. So if these few little scratches are enough to make you feel just a little guilty.. then.."

Akihito wanted to make step back further, but he was already leaning against the wall. He was speechless, his eyes big in confusion, his face high red.

"Wh-what are you saying..?", he mumbled without looking at Hiroomi.

"I'm serious, Akkey.. It's not like I chose this, not like I can do anything about it, but.."

"Then why didn't you just say so?", suddenly Akihito sounded mad. He searched for Hiroomi's eyes.  
"If this is what you want, then why didn't you tell me from the start?! Why are you making me feel guilty so I do things I don't want to? And then you feel guilty yourself! Don't you realize where this is leading to? It's an endless circle of guilt and pain! I don't want that!", he yelled.

"I'm sorry..", that speech of Akihito hit Hiroomi like a slap in the face.

"Stop apologizing!", Akihito moaned as he put his hands on his face and threw his head back. It seemed like Hiroomi hadn't understood a word he had said.

"Just tell me why you had to go this way.."

Hiroomi closed his eyes and just breathed slowly for a few moments.

"Maybe because.. you would have never let me do anything if I didn't force you this way. And.. maybe.. I just needed some kind of excuse.", his face blushed when he said the last words.

It sounded weird, but Akihito knew exactly what he was talking about.

"Maybe..", as he thought about it his body heat rocketed. His face was burning and he had to avert his face to go on. "But maybe you weren't the only one who needed an excuse."

"Akkey..", Hiroomi's voice suddenly sounded different. It wasn't that worried and subdued anymore. "Hey, Akkey, I'm sorry.."

Akihito didn't dare to look at him, but he noticed that he was coming closer to him.

"I said stop apologizing!", he repeated himself. But this time he wasn't angry. This time he was determined.

Before Hiroomi reached him, he stepped to him himself and looked him deep in the eyes. A bad idea as suddenly Akihito's heart overturned and he felt like he was blushing even more.

"I don't want any feelings of guilt between us. This is why.. I'll forgive you. Do you understand me? I forgive you for using and tricking me. So don't be sorry anymore."

"Well then, if you say so..", Hiroomi had a faint smile on his lips and wrapped his arms around Akihito's hips. He just wanted to draw him closer, but Akihito stopped him.

"Wait! What about you?", he asked with waiting eyes.

"What?", Hiroomi looked at him surprised.

"Don't you.. aren't you..", Akihito didn't know how he should say it. It should have been obvious.

"I'm not going to forgive you", he just told Akihito plainly in his eyes.

Akihito's jaw flapped open. He stared at Hiroomi disbelieving for another few seconds, then he tried to free himself from his embrace. But Hiroomi didn't intend to let him go.

"Because there is nothing I have to forgive you for, you know."

Akihito stopped struggling immediately and looked back into that beautiful eyes that drove him crazy.

Hiroomi drew him closer so there faces were only inches apart.

"I'm doing this voluntarily. I risk my own life so I can fight your youmu form without killing you. I always knew that I could get hurt and that I could die, but I never blamed you. I've never been mad at you. You see.."

Akihito's eyes were glued to Hiroomi's face, he greedily sucked in every single word he said. That his face was slightly blushing and his eyes were unsettled only meant that he was about to say something even more embarrassing.

"To me all of these scratches and bruises are the price I pay to keep you by my side. And if necessary I'd even pay with my life for that."

Akihito felt his heart beat up to his toes. His head was pulsating along and suddenly his mind went blank. The next thing he realized was, that he was pressing his lips on Hiroomi's.

He flinched and drew back, his body was as hot as never before. Just now he hadn't been able to hold back the urge to kiss Hiroomi.

Hiroomi stared at him with big eyes and his usually pale face gained some color. He, too, hadn't been prepared for such a sudden advance. But he didn't stay dumbfounded for too long.

No, suddenly he grabbed Akihito's waist and drew him closer to kiss him as well. Hiroomi's kisses were more oppressive and passionate than Akihito's could ever be. And Akihito didn't mind. He welcomed the tongue intruding his mouth and didn't object to the cold fingers searching their way all across his body.

This time he could accept all this stuff, not because he felt like he had to. This time it was because he wanted it that way. And that made it feel so much better.

Akihito had to hold tightly to Hiroomi's naked back as he feared that his body would soon give in. His knees were already feeling like jelly.

Maybe Hiroomi realized that, or maybe he didn't, but suddenly he lifted Akihito up, turned around and threw him on the bed. Akihito made use of that moment to calm down again and gasp for some air before Hiroomi bowed down above him again and continued kissing him.

His fingers slipped beneath his clothes, his tongue slid across his neck. Akihito doubted that he could take his overturning heartbeat any longer, his head felt dizzy in the unbearable heat. The cold from Hiroomi's body felt so good, he couldn't get enough of it.

"Akkey..", Hiroomi mumbled as he kissed Akihito's collarbone, "so hot.. more.."

His hand beneath Akihito's shirt moved upwards, gliding across his tummy. It was so cold, Akihito had to pant for air.

The hand reached his nipple and caressed it. Suddenly the other one, too, was stimulated by Hiroomis's tongue. He licked it through the shirt.

"Wh-What?!", Akihito squealed.

Hiroomi stopped and raised his head to look into Akihito's eyes.

"I want to sleep with you, Akkey", he said plainly, "May I?"

Akihito lost his words. He just looked at Hiroomi dumbfoundedly, his face was burning.

"Why.. why do you ask such a thing?", he stuttered embarrassed.

"You said I should ask you..", on the surface his smile was innocent, but Akihito knew better. He was definitely enjoying this situation.

"Do what you want..", Akihito mumbled as he hid his face beneath his hands.

"That's what I do then."

Hiroomi pulled Akihito's shirt up and undressed him. For one second Akihito wondered whether it had really been a good idea to allow him all that, but then his thoughts were all blown away the moment Hiroomi put his mouth on Akihito's nipple again. He flinched, his whole body trembled as he grabbed Hiroomi's back again.  
Since when was he so terribly sensitive?

Hiroomi's hand wandered down and disappeared in Akihito's pants, causing him only to tremble and moan even more.

"You're already all wet..", Hiroomi noticed pleased.

"I'm not.. a woman..", Akihito panted and moaned aroused.

This was the moment when Hiroomi seemed to have decided, that Akihito's upper body wasn't enough any more. He opened up his pants and drew them down.

Akihito quivered a couple of times at the feeling of the wet tongue licking him down there, and the cold fingers searching their way further and further to his backside.

"You... aren't-", Akihito really should stop talking. First because his lips were so numb he couldn't talk anyway and second because there was no need to ask Hiroomi about what he was doing there. He already knew.  
Still, he cried out when Hiroomi shoved one finger up his butt. It felt weird, but strangely good at the same time.

Now the cold filled him up from inside, but his body still seamed to heat up. And he was feeling weirder with every second that passed and every finger that Hiroomi added.

"I.. I.. I'm about to-"

"No", suddenly Hiroomi grabbed Akihito's dick tightly, "don't cum yet."

He drew his fingers out of him and opened his own pants instead. Akihito wanted to object, simply on principle, but Hiroomi took him even his very last breath before he could.

"Feels so hot.. inside you..", Hiroomi panted as well, the sweat was running down his face and his whole body.

Akihito looked up to him. It was a beautiful sight, he thought, as the intensity of his sensations swallowed him completely.

"Let's cum together, Akkey..", he heard his voice from far away and finally felt release.

* * *

"That was even better than I had imagined..", Hiroomi mumbled with his lips touching Akihito's shoulder blade.

"You've.. imagined that?", actually Akihito wasn't really that surprised but he felt that he needed to say something.

They were laying naked in Akihito's bed and Hiroomi clung to his back like a limpet. And this was actually a lot less awkward than Akihito had imagined.

"Should I.. should I've called you Onii-chan?", Akihito suddenly remembered.

"Are you an idiot? I said I want you and no one else."

Akihito really felt delighted hearing that. He wasn't sure why, but he had the feeling that another answer would have broken his heart.

"Should I have worn glasses..?", Hiroomi asked uncertain.

Akihito snickered and shook his head.

"No, it's fine. They'd really fit you though.."

"Hm.. maybe I'll wear some next time", Hiroomi thought loud. Akihito flinched.

"N-next time?", he hadn't been aware that there would be a next time. "When is next time?"

Hiroomi thought about it for a moment.

"Hmm.. what about now?", he smiled mischievously and bowed over Akihito.

"What?! Wait!", Akihito tried to push him away, but he had no chance. And by a single kiss he was made defenseless once again.

* * *

"And that's why you're late?", Akihito asked Mirai.

She was sitting next to him at the station and had her bed-hair combed by Sakura. Somewhere along the line they had made up and were now living together.

"If Sakura had woken up earlier-", she mumbled displeased before she made some pained noises when Sakura's brush got stuck in the hair.

"It's surprisingly stubborn..", she noticed.

Akihito didn't really understand what she was saying, because he already had napped away.

"Senpai?", Mirai's face appeared next to him. She asked him whether he was alright.

Akihito mumbled something as answer before his eyes fell shut once again.

"Oh.. I fell right back asleep..", he said when he was awakened again by her.

"What is wrong? Did you stay up all night?", she asked.

Akihito flinched. He's been together with Hiroomi the whole night, doing perverted stuff. He had never been so tired and exhausted before, his whole body was aching. But of course he couldn't tell her that.

"Uhm.. to tell the truth.. I've been up for seven hours to figure out whether you looked better with green frames or frame-less glasses."

To undermine that foolish lie, he held the two glasses in his hands. Actually he only had them with him to try them out on Hiroomi.

He ignored the shocked reaction from Mirai and closed his eyes again. Some pictures of the night were running through his mind again and he couldn't deny himself a smile. Maybe he'd stay in that weird relationship with his senpai for a little while longer.

* * *

_Well then.. that's it_

_Thanks to everyone who read it, liked it, followed and/or reviewed! I love you all!_

_Maybe we will meet again at some other fan fiction, I really would be happy! You can also look me up at tumblr (bloodylucy93), where I blog stupid things just like Mirai ;)_

_And for the end, here another little bonus paragraph as excuse that it's been so short!_

* * *

**Bonus paragraph:**

"Finally!", Mitsuki welcomed Akihito impatiently at the door to the Nase mansion.

"What's so urgent?", Akihito asked confused.

It was rare for Mitsuki to call him to her house. And even rarer that she was insisting that he'd come immediately, without giving him any reason.

"It's about Hiroomi..", she started. Akihito thought that his heart stopped for a moment.  
"What? What's wrong with him?", he was worried.

"He's really weird.. You know.. usually when he has a cold he insists that I spend every single second at his bed and nurse him until he's better - what I don't do, of course – but this time he's like 'Akkey, where's Akkey?' all the time. I don't know whether this is a good sign.."

Akihito took a deep breath. He was delighted. So it was just a cold.

"It really gets on my nerves now! Go to him and see what he needs!", she nagged and pushed Akihito inside Hiroomi's room.

"Akkey..", a weak voice came from the bed.

"I'm here..", Akihito was reluctant, but went to his bed and sat down on a chair next to it.

"Akkey.. you're really here.."

Was this a smile on his face? Hiroomi's laid in his bed, weak and barely able to move. His face was high red and his eyes teary. This was the worst cold Akihito had ever seen, but it was well-known that Hiroomi's health was very unstable.

"Haaaand..", he moaned.

Akihito needed a while to get what he meant, but then he reached his hand out for him. Hiroomi grabbed it and held it as tightly as he could with his weak body.

"It's all.. your fault..", he mumbled.

Akihito was a bit confused.

"Your fault..", Hiroomi coughed a couple times, "Because of you I spent a whole night naked and sweaty. Now I'm sick!"

He coughed once again as if to undermine just how sick he was. "Feel guilty!", he added.

Now this guilt bullshit again. Akihito wanted to be angry at him, but he couldn't. Hiroomi just looked too vulnerable and cute in this state, there was no way to be mad at him.

"Well then, I admit I'm guilty", Akihito gave in. In the end this was just Hiroomi's way to ask him of something.

"So what should I do to make up for it?", he sighed.

"Stay with me..", Hiroomi answered.

Akihito felt a twitch in his heart. This was just too cute, there was no way he could object. He went down on his knees and crawled closer to Hiroomi's bed.

"And how long until my guilt is atoned for?"

"For as long as you live.." Maybe it was the fever talking rather than Hiroomi, but Akihito greedily sucked up every word he said.  
"But I'm immortal, you know..", Akihito reminded him.

"I know..", Hiroomi wheezed as his eyes fell shut.

This had just been the cutest way ever to tell someone to stay with him forever. Akihito got more and more conscious of his heart beating loudly. He tightened his grasp around Hiroomi's hand and laid his head on Hiroomi's bed.

There was no way he could deny his feelings anymore.

"I love you, too", he whispered in the blanket, privily hoping that Hiroomi was asleep and couldn't hear.


End file.
